Adventures of Being in Retail
by savygirl1515
Summary: These are my stories of working in retail retold through the characters of Fairy Tail. I promise that all events are 100% true no matter how ridiculous they may sound. The concept of the story is further explained in chapter one.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay. So, I am starting this story because I thought it would be a fun idea and a little blurb into my life. I got the idea while I was in the shower and everything just clicked, the characters and my coordinating friends that match up. Some character interactions will be different, for example my character will be Lucy and instead of Levy or Natsu as Lucy's bff, it'll be Cana because my actual bff is very similar to her. This is how most of the interactions will be and it will be a modern AU, no magic, just everyday crazy shit that has actually happened to me while working at Target. Anyway, on with the story. ~Savy**

Another day, another dollar in the life of a broke college student working at her local Target. Holiday season had only just begun, and it was looking like it was going to be a disaster already. The day had been busy, but now at 10 o'clock on a Saturday night it was dragging by unbearably slow.

"Hey! Lucy!" Cana yells as she comes around the corner riding an electric cart. Lucy can't help but giggle at the sight. Somehow her best friend made slow nights entertaining. Cana rides up and stops in front of Lucy, "Do you think we can sing Christmas carols without pissing off the managers?"

"I think they can't say a damn thing about it considering there is literally nothing to do and no customers." Lucy sighs and perks up her voice sarcastically, "Sorry I meant to say Guests."

Cana lets out a boisterous laugh and drives the cart up to the front and plugs it in. She then saunters up to the register beside me and flips on her light. "Ya know…Don't you think Target could save a lot more money if they closed the store up at about now instead of 12 o'clock." She sighs heavily and leans against an endcap.

"Probably, but I think they like to make us suffer." Lucy looks down an aisle and sees a man walking up. She puts on her best fake cashier smile. "Hello sir, are you ready to check out?"

"Sure am." He smiles back and walks to put his basket on the belt. Lucy walks behind the register and types in her usual 8 digit number and 4 digit pin. She starts the belt and his groceries slowly come forward. He stares at Lucy long and hard as she rings up his items.

"So…How is your night going so far?" Lucy asks and briefly looks up at the man.

"Better now, I'm just ready to go home. A long day at work, ya know?" The man answers with a chuckle.

Lucy laughs briefly and replies, "Oh, I know all about those kinds of days. You've been my first guest since I got off break 30 minutes ago, it's been unbearably slow."

They go through a normal mundane conversation as they all are when suddenly, "Hey, you have really nice veins. Like they are practically pipes."

Lucy looks up confused and feels extremely creeped out at the same time. "Um, thank you?"

"Your eyes are really nice too. A beautiful golden brown, but your veins are just amazing." His smile brightens.

At this point Lucy is feeling extremely creeped out, uncomfortable and ready to get the hell away from this man. "Um, your total is $57.89 cash or card?"

"Cash, I don't like people keeping tabs on me." He unfolds his wallet and pulls out three 20-dollar bills. Lucy get him his change as fast as possible and hands it to him with an uneasy smile.

"Here you go sir, $2.11 is your change. Have a nice night."

"I will, hope to see you again soon." He winks, takes his bags and walks away.

As soon as the man was out of sight, Lucy whips around and looks at Cana with large eyes. "Please tell me you heard all of that!"

"That was by far the creepiest fucking thing I have ever heard in my life."

"He is going to rip out my veins and hang them up like fucking Christmas lights!" Lucy hysterically yells.

"Who's gonna make you into Christmas lights, Luce?" One of the cart attendants, Natsu, comes around the corner.

"That freaky fucking guy that Lucy just rang up." Cana makes huge gestures with her hands.

"Don't worry Luce, I will walk you to your car tonight if it makes you feel any better. I promise to make sure no creepy guys getcha." He gives her a cheeky smile and walks to the offices in the front of the store.

"I've been telling you for years that Florida is full of psychopaths, believe me now?"

"Yes Cana, I believe you now."


	2. Chapter 2

**This next story happened within the past 2 months and was endlessly entertaining to me at the time and now my best friend is considered Target's hero by the cashiers. Hope everyone enjoys. ~Savy**

Lucy walked into work feeling pretty damn good that day. She had been accepted to USF that day, her makeup was perfect, and she had a short mid-shift. The only thing that was slightly concerning was the emergency text Cana had sent her about an hour ago:

 _Cana: I might get fired today_

That was slightly disconcerting considering they had been working at Target for nearly 3 years, were cross-trained in many departments and got along well with almost everyone. Almost everyone. There was one manager that had managed to rub them since she transferred to the store. Overly happy, in a fake sort of way, obvious pompous attitude, and self-important personality basically made this woman the bane of going to work.

Lucy eventually made it over to Cana to talk before her shift began. "So, what's with the ominous text you sent me this morning?"

Cana looked upset but not in the angry fiery way she normally did, no, this was a concerned and worried upset Lucy had only seen a few times. "We were all just fucking around in the breakroom like always, Natsu and I were talking shit about Angel when she walked in." She sighs, "She was eavesdropping and heard everything we said, I don't regret it, but I have bills and shit to take care of, I don't wanna get fired. Laxus is supposed to mediate the meeting so we can 'talk it out'."

"Wow. What did she say when she caught you guys?" Lucy asks.

Cana giggles at that and puts on her best preppy voice, "Um, that conversation isn't work appropriate." She giggles again. "It was mortifying and perfect at the same time."

"Listen I will talk to you after your mediation-whatever, I have to clock in and Laxus is giving me the 'stop talking to Cana like always' glare." Lucy waves as she walks into the offices to put her purse away.

 _2 Hours Later_

Cana, Angel and Laxus went into the conference room 45 minutes ago and Lucy was watching the door like her life depended on it, hardly doing her job at that point. When the doors opened she didn't expect what she saw. Laxus looked completely shell-shocked, Angel's makeup looked disgusting from crying and Cana looked red in the face and itching for a fight. To say Lucy was thoroughly confused was an understatement. Yeah, Cana had one hell of a back bone and wasn't afraid to speak her mind, but she had never made anyone cry before. And Laxus was their unshakeable lead of department! Yet she was watching the man rubbing his temples and mumbling to himself.

Cana walked beside Lucy's register and said nothing more than, "We need drinks tonight, I have to tell you about the shitstorm."

After another two hours they were both off work and sitting at one of their favorite bars, glass in hand and spicy fresh wings and fries in front of them.

"So, are we going to talk about it now since we have drinks and food?"

"Yeah, so, I'm not fired."

"Okay? And?"

"And it was a meeting to clear the air between us, but instead turned into and screaming match between Angel and I while Laxus watched in horror. Everything is off the record so nothing bad will happen to anyone involved." Cana sighs and takes a long drink of her margarita.

"I can't believe you made her cry, she looks like a wet rat without makeup on." Lucy giggled and bit into a fry.

"There were lots of screaming and crying on both out parts, but I don't wear makeup since I'm hot 24/7. Anyway, I've just been tired of her bullshit, so I called her out on it. I also called her a cunt repeatedly." She pauses and smiles devilishly. "I also told her to stop thinking she's all that because reality check, she's just a manager at Target and isn't going anywhere in life."

Lucy nearly spits out her drink and stares at her best friend. A long pause happens with just the girls staring at one another when they both bust out laughing loudly. "Oh my god! I love you so much! Fuck dude that's fucking crazy!"

 _A Few Weeks Later…_

"I can't believe it's Angel's last day. I can't believe she put in her two weeks' notice after that confrontation." Lucy says in awe of Cana.

"I'm pretty fucking awesome. I can't tell you how many people have thanked me since then."

"I know, I've seen it with my own eyes."

"It's good to know I'm appreciated by my peers."

"Bullshit, you just want to watch the world burn by your hands."

"Hell, yes I do."


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so this happened pretty much within the first month of working at Target and the complete randomness of it just really tickled me. This is one of the first stories from the very beginning. ~Savy**

Another boring day. I'm beginning to wonder why they even hire seasonal this early when there is hardly any crowd. Standing around in the self-check-out to observe the customers coming and going, but well there was no one coming or going.

Lucy leans against one of the broken machines and sighs. God this shift is going to be painful, she's only an hour in and her feet already hurt from the unrelenting hard tile floor of the store. Maybe she could convince her manager to cut hours and send her home.

She looks out past the registers and a woman hesitantly heads her way. "Um. Do you work here?"

Lucy points at her glittery name tag, "Yep, do you need assistance?"

"Uh well no, but well there is an issue in the produce section." She replies.

"Oh, is there a spill? I can call it in." Lucy reaches for the walkie-talky on her belt but the woman shakes her head no.

"No. That's not it. There is an unattended child eating all the green grapes." She finally spits out.

At this point Lucy's brain is utterly confused. "There is a kid eating all of our green grapes in produce?"

"Yeah. He's maybe 6 or 7."

Lucy stands on her tip-toes and looks over the barrier separating self-check-out from the grocery area, and sure enough there was a little boy going to town eating green grapes. "Huh, okay. I will call my manager and maybe this will get less weird."

The woman walks away and Lucy keeps an eye on the child while taking her walkie-talky and calling her manager, "GSA Mira, can you come over to self-check-out? There is a situation."

"Be there in a sec!"

Mira walks over, and Lucy explains the situation and points toward the little boy, who has now moved on to strawberries. Mira looks equally stumped but goes over to the little boy and has a small conversation with him.

Mira then walks over after the boy runs off to a larger woman in the meat section that must have been his mother.

"I asked him why he was eating all the fruit and he just told me to fuck off. A little boy just told me to fuck off." She smiles and walks away stiffly.

Lucy looks at Mira in shock as she walks away. Lucy honestly can't help but to laugh at the situation. Demon Mirajane just got told off by a 7-year-old boy. God that was rich, wait until everybody hears about this.


End file.
